"Just A Thought" by Gnarls Barkley
[Verse]
All I want is your understanding
As in the small act of affection
"Why is this my life?"
Is almost everybody's question
[Hook]
And I've tried
Everything but suicide
But it's crossed my mind
[Verse]
I prefer peace
Wouldn't have to have one worldly possession
But essentially I'm an animal
So just what do I do with all the aggression?
[Hook]
Well I've tried
Everything but suicide
But it's crossed my mind
[Verse]
Life is a one-way street, and if you could paint it
I'd draw myself going in the right direction
So I go all the way - like I really really know -
But the truth is I'm only guessin'
[Hook]
And I've tried
Everything but suicide
Ooh but it's crossed my mind
Just a thought
[Verse]
It's even dark in the daytime
It's not just good - it's +Great Depression+
When I was lost I even found myself
Looking in the gun's direction
[Hook]
And so I've tried
Everything but suicide
But yes - it's crossed my mind
But I'm fine
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in...
i've been away for a little bit...taking a break from posting every thought and every detail of my current life. i realized that none of this really matters...none of what i write here is going to change any circumstance or make me feel better about things in general, and the good things i post about can't be enjoyed by others vicariously, so there really is no point.
with that said, i'm posting this, and then continuing my break for a bit. at least, until i feel as though there is something worthwhile to talk about.
later.
=e
with that said, i'm posting this, and then continuing my break for a bit. at least, until i feel as though there is something worthwhile to talk about.
later.
=e
Sunday, July 13, 2008
busy busy busy...
this weekend has been a bit hectic...
saturday i spent all day with rob and the real estate agent looking at houses, and fearing for my life because gloria, the realtor, is absolutely insane. it was fun though, just tiring.
today rob and i went and saw the movie 'get smart'. it was really funny and enjoyable. after that we went to petsmart and target, running usual weekend errands. tonight i got six pieces resined, so they'll be cured in three days, and i got four or five more prepped.
anyway...i've completely lost my train of though, which alcohol tends to do to me, so i'm gonna go. i've gotta take a shower and go to bed since i've got class in the morning.
later all.
=e
saturday i spent all day with rob and the real estate agent looking at houses, and fearing for my life because gloria, the realtor, is absolutely insane. it was fun though, just tiring.
today rob and i went and saw the movie 'get smart'. it was really funny and enjoyable. after that we went to petsmart and target, running usual weekend errands. tonight i got six pieces resined, so they'll be cured in three days, and i got four or five more prepped.
anyway...i've completely lost my train of though, which alcohol tends to do to me, so i'm gonna go. i've gotta take a shower and go to bed since i've got class in the morning.
later all.
=e
Saturday, July 12, 2008
there are things i'd like to do that you don't believe in...
"...i'd like to build something, but you'll never see it happen..."
i'm up later than i have been in days, and while i'm waiting for my sleep aides to kick in and offer some relief, i'm sitting here feeling rather guilty about something...
my knees have been killing me all day. the kind of hurt that burns throughout my body and makes me sick to my stomach; the kind of hurt that eventually becomes all i can think about and concentrate on. normally i would pop a painkiller or two, or three, and numb out the pain, as well as the rest of my body and mind, without really giving it a second thought.
however, today has been a bit different.
today, as with most days, i woke up with a small amount of pain that gradually grew worse throughout the day. by the time i got to work, the pain was moderate, but still at the point to where i was able to ignore it with some success. before leaving for work i was considering taking something to head off the pain (with the added bonus of allowing me to zone out at work), but decided against it for some reason or another. however, it was when i actually got to work that it was pointed out to me just how much the meds actually effect my work. thursday, throughout the afternoon and into the evening i had taken a bunch of stuff for various reasons, and apparently in doing so, had forgotten to do some stuff at the lab that would normally have been like second nature for me to do. i honestly don't remember much of what i *did* do, so it really doesn't surprise me that i forgot things. but then i heard myself when kelley told me what i'd forgotten to do, and the excuse that came out of my mouth was probably deserving of a slap, though it didn't receive one.
i dunno...it just sucks, because i really do love my job, and i try to treat the lab like it's mine and my responsibility and stuff. hell, there have been saturdays where i've left thinking i did everything, and then at 9p.m. i'll remember i forgot to lock a cabinet or turn off a light, and i've driven back up there to fix it! i don't like feeling like i didn't do my job, especially since it's not as though they ask much of me in the first place.
anyway...it's not really a big deal...i just felt/feel badly about it, and i hope i didn't really frustrate or upset kelley. i cleaned the entire lab today to try and make up for it. and i didn't take a single pain killer throughout the day, until about two hours ago where the pain got to the point of being absolutely unbearable.
i should get going to bed. it's after 2a.m. and rob and i have to be at the realtor's office at 10:30a.m. to go look at some houses. i'm really excited about it, but i won't be so happy when my alarm starts going off in less than 8 hours. bleh. alrighty. sorry for the rambling, just needed to empty my mind. night all! have a great weekend!
=e
i'm up later than i have been in days, and while i'm waiting for my sleep aides to kick in and offer some relief, i'm sitting here feeling rather guilty about something...
my knees have been killing me all day. the kind of hurt that burns throughout my body and makes me sick to my stomach; the kind of hurt that eventually becomes all i can think about and concentrate on. normally i would pop a painkiller or two, or three, and numb out the pain, as well as the rest of my body and mind, without really giving it a second thought.
however, today has been a bit different.
today, as with most days, i woke up with a small amount of pain that gradually grew worse throughout the day. by the time i got to work, the pain was moderate, but still at the point to where i was able to ignore it with some success. before leaving for work i was considering taking something to head off the pain (with the added bonus of allowing me to zone out at work), but decided against it for some reason or another. however, it was when i actually got to work that it was pointed out to me just how much the meds actually effect my work. thursday, throughout the afternoon and into the evening i had taken a bunch of stuff for various reasons, and apparently in doing so, had forgotten to do some stuff at the lab that would normally have been like second nature for me to do. i honestly don't remember much of what i *did* do, so it really doesn't surprise me that i forgot things. but then i heard myself when kelley told me what i'd forgotten to do, and the excuse that came out of my mouth was probably deserving of a slap, though it didn't receive one.
i dunno...it just sucks, because i really do love my job, and i try to treat the lab like it's mine and my responsibility and stuff. hell, there have been saturdays where i've left thinking i did everything, and then at 9p.m. i'll remember i forgot to lock a cabinet or turn off a light, and i've driven back up there to fix it! i don't like feeling like i didn't do my job, especially since it's not as though they ask much of me in the first place.
anyway...it's not really a big deal...i just felt/feel badly about it, and i hope i didn't really frustrate or upset kelley. i cleaned the entire lab today to try and make up for it. and i didn't take a single pain killer throughout the day, until about two hours ago where the pain got to the point of being absolutely unbearable.
i should get going to bed. it's after 2a.m. and rob and i have to be at the realtor's office at 10:30a.m. to go look at some houses. i'm really excited about it, but i won't be so happy when my alarm starts going off in less than 8 hours. bleh. alrighty. sorry for the rambling, just needed to empty my mind. night all! have a great weekend!
=e
Friday, July 11, 2008
a word from the newly wise...
when using a drimmel to drill holes into bottle caps, or other such small metal items, it might be wise to wear gloves, and/or use a vise grip of some sort.
and why would i tell you this?
because, let me assure you, drilling into your thumb after the drimmel tip skips off the object you were drilling and ricochets off your forefinger, hurts like fucking hell!
and that's all i have to say about that...
=e
and why would i tell you this?
because, let me assure you, drilling into your thumb after the drimmel tip skips off the object you were drilling and ricochets off your forefinger, hurts like fucking hell!
and that's all i have to say about that...
=e
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
problem...
Inside you feel so tired.
Your minds move too fast
until you're knocked back on the ground.
Feelings that linger around.
Summer here and the sun will find you.
Falling out with the world around you.
But you need not run away,
'cause everything's bound to change.
We could work this out or just let it go.
It's time to learn what we should know.
That's the problem with me,
see, there's a problem with me.
That's the problem, the problem with me.
So, now you're old
and the world has left you.
It's so sick, you see just where
they kept you down,
locked up in fear.
We can change it all from here
or simply let it disappear.
We could work this out or just let it go.
It's time to learn what we should know.
That's the problem with me,
see, there's a problem with me.
That's the problem, the problem with me.
Fade out 'til tomorrow.
You just keep standing there.
Reelin' will follow spinning in the air.
We could work this out or just let it go.
It's time to learn what we should know.
That's the problem with me,
see, there's a problem with me.
That's the problem, the problem with me.
It's all I wanted.
--------------------------------------
band: remy zero; song: problem
Your minds move too fast
until you're knocked back on the ground.
Feelings that linger around.
Summer here and the sun will find you.
Falling out with the world around you.
But you need not run away,
'cause everything's bound to change.
We could work this out or just let it go.
It's time to learn what we should know.
That's the problem with me,
see, there's a problem with me.
That's the problem, the problem with me.
So, now you're old
and the world has left you.
It's so sick, you see just where
they kept you down,
locked up in fear.
We can change it all from here
or simply let it disappear.
We could work this out or just let it go.
It's time to learn what we should know.
That's the problem with me,
see, there's a problem with me.
That's the problem, the problem with me.
Fade out 'til tomorrow.
You just keep standing there.
Reelin' will follow spinning in the air.
We could work this out or just let it go.
It's time to learn what we should know.
That's the problem with me,
see, there's a problem with me.
That's the problem, the problem with me.
It's all I wanted.
--------------------------------------
band: remy zero; song: problem
Thursday, July 03, 2008
i never thought i would say it, but...
yea for holiday weekends!!!
i am so happy, ecstatic if you will, that i get to go home tonight, do whatever i want, and then sleep in tomorrow because i have nothing to do, including work!!!
WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!
the down side is...i'm stuck here at work till 9p.m. with no one in either lab, and a very annoying someone in the studio. argh...oh well...i'll make it.
also, i would like to point out that it's freaking freezing in this damn office! i am not a penguin or a popcicle people!
not much else going on. trying not to fall asleep...just gotta stay awake for another two hours. bleh.
this has been a very pointless post, and i'm hungry now, so i think i shall go eat.
faretheewell...
=e
i am so happy, ecstatic if you will, that i get to go home tonight, do whatever i want, and then sleep in tomorrow because i have nothing to do, including work!!!
WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!
the down side is...i'm stuck here at work till 9p.m. with no one in either lab, and a very annoying someone in the studio. argh...oh well...i'll make it.
also, i would like to point out that it's freaking freezing in this damn office! i am not a penguin or a popcicle people!
not much else going on. trying not to fall asleep...just gotta stay awake for another two hours. bleh.
this has been a very pointless post, and i'm hungry now, so i think i shall go eat.
faretheewell...
=e
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
F*@#! it's only tuesday/wednesday...
i am extremely exhausted! you know...that exhaustion that hits you after days of being stressed over accomplishing a certain task, and then once it's done and over with, and all the adrenaline or whatever it was that kept you going is gone, all you want to do is collapse on the bed and sleep for days, and thinking to form a single cohesive thought actually hurts...yeah, well that's where i'm at.
i finally got my photos hung at the library, after dealing with matting and framing (which is a huge pain, especially when you own two very curious, and very furry cats), then driving the hour to hang them, just to drive an hour back and go to work. did i mention i was up at 8a.m. this morning? and did i mention i didn't go to bed till 3a.m.? yeah...
so yeah, it's only tuesday/wednesday and i've already had a very long week. at least i don't have to think about photos for a month...thankfully!
alright, well i'm going to go take a shower and head to bed i think. i get to sleep in! yea! which means i get to take something to actually help me sleep! bigger yea! haha...alrighty, well have a great rest of the week everyone!
later!
=e
i finally got my photos hung at the library, after dealing with matting and framing (which is a huge pain, especially when you own two very curious, and very furry cats), then driving the hour to hang them, just to drive an hour back and go to work. did i mention i was up at 8a.m. this morning? and did i mention i didn't go to bed till 3a.m.? yeah...
so yeah, it's only tuesday/wednesday and i've already had a very long week. at least i don't have to think about photos for a month...thankfully!
alright, well i'm going to go take a shower and head to bed i think. i get to sleep in! yea! which means i get to take something to actually help me sleep! bigger yea! haha...alrighty, well have a great rest of the week everyone!
later!
=e
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