learning to let go...

so...i'm still in a mood. or perhaps i'm just in yet another one...dunno.

i was telling donna at work today that i was exhausted though i hadn't done anything, and just felt myself getting into a bad mood...well that bad mood has landed. luckily it stayed at bay long enough for me to go to dinner with jamie and have me some raw fish yumminess. but then i got home and it just triggered. i'm hoping it passes soon. we'll see.

i've got a lot of shit on my mind right now, and i think that's why i've been so damn tired lately. when i can't get my brain to settle down, i have a hard time concentrating on things, and it all adds up. i've had to take sleeping aides every night this week, and i'm sure that's not helping.

then there's the issue of my great uncle who is at home slowly dying. he had a tumor between his large and small intestine, and after having emergency surgery to remove it, both of his intestines shut down completely and never came back online. he hasn't been able to intake food in at least 9 days now, so it's basically a waiting game at this point. they discharged him from the hospital on saturday and allowed him to go home with hospice care since there was nothing more they could do for him, and it would help to cut down on hospital costs. i dunno. blah.

on the up-side, i did a couple of really fun things with the kiddos at work. one was a game we totally thought was going to be lame and that they would hate, but ended up they all loved it. the other was a blind free drawing exercise that they were all a bit skeptical about, but i enjoyed a whole lot.

so, yeah...there was some positive in there. it hasn't been a bad week honestly, i think i'm just ready for it to be over though. right now my biggest worry is that the girl i work with on saturdays will still be sick and won't be able to come in to work on saturday. aside from the fact that i really enjoy seeing her and hanging out with her during that time, it's a very stressful job when i have to shut down both labs and the studio by myself. -sigh- i shouldn't stress over what i can't change and have no control over though.

there's some song playing on my pandora list right now called "summer's end" by 2002. it's extremely peaceful and i'm digging it. it's all instrumental with some choir stuff in it. very nice.

okay, well i have some homework that i should probably go take a look at so i'm not stressing trying to get it all done tomorrow night.

till the next time...

=e