it's all fucking backwards and shit...

i'm on the verge of drunk right now, so bear with me.

i'm actually using my pc, not because anything's wrong with my mac, but because the stupid college website isn't set up for mac users. go figure. anyway...i keep going to the top left corner to close windows and stuff, but it's all on the top right side instead. very confusing.

it's kind of funny how things can change so much in a few years, but change so little also. i found shit that i wrote back in 2004 and i was complaining about the same shit i complain about today. money, work, school, life. kind of more sad than funny really. ah well...what's one to do.

i could write some full of myself bullshit post about how life gets better and you just have to find what works for you and run with it, but really i don't think shit ever changes. that's ok. because eventually it all ends anyway, and none of it will really matter. a bit morose, i know.

i think i just depressed myself. fuck. that kind of sucks. i swear i have something to do tomorrow...can't remember what though. i was supposed to do lunch monday with someone...that got cancelled. it's cool. i don't think i've spent more than an hour or two with anyone outside of the apartment in a few weeks. at least two if not three. kind of getting used to the lonely existence again. i think it suits me best. if nothing else it at least makes things easier.

i speak out loud and no one hears me anyway.

=e