there is not much going on in life these days. i'm currently up at work, bored out of my skull, waiting for the new guy to get here, and trying to find some form of entertainment in the meantime.
i have been reading a book that was referred to me by a friend/professor. it's titled, 'art and fear'. it's a really great book about how artists who ever really do anything get there by confronting their fears and accepting the fact that they will never be the 'perfect' artist, etc etc etc... i'm really enjoying it actually. it all kinda came about because i had brought some paintings up to work to show to a couple of people that had been harassing me about them for awhile. so after that, the one friend who recommended the book emailed me saying i should take some different art classes, etc. i responded explaining that i had entertained the idea for a brief moment, but that my fear of putting too much out there and people seeing what's really there has kept me from really pursuing it. her being my photography prof. was well aware of this holding me back and thus recommended the book.
long story with not much pay off, i know.
anyway, the book, and the conversation with my friends and what not, has really left me kind of confused and turned around as of late. all i've been doing with my free-time for the past couple months or so is paint. i haven't payed much attention to school, work, or friends. i haven't worked on any of my photography projects that i truly care about. i don't know. i think a lot of it has to do with the fact that i didn't take a photography class this semester and it's really thrown me off balance. i need that creative output, and the push of assignments that make me spend time being creative in order to balance out everything else i have to do in the semester. when i'm left to my own devices, very little, or nothing at all gets done, and i'm left with a gpa falling nearly as quickly as my mood and motivation. ok, so no necessarily true, but almost. i guess i've been trying to compensate for that lack of creative push by spending all my free time painting in order to get that out of me, however it really hasn't been enough. i'm not really sure where i was going with all of this. perhaps that painting, photography, writing, art in general, it's all a great outlet, but not a great solution.
anyway. in about an hour that same friend and i are going to play racquetball which i am thouroughly looking forward to, tho my knees are not. however, they'll get over it. other than that, not much else is going on really. i'm loving the colder weather as it does bring some uplifting whatever into my otherwise non-uplifting life.
hope all is well in the world with everyone else. more later i'm sure.
=e
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