everything in moderation...

thus far, this has been the week from hell. a true test of my patience and sanity, which were waning at the beginning of the week already.
without getting too much into it here, the brief overview is: everything kind of exploded on monday, all at once, in a matter of an hour, and then continued to deteriorate the rest of the week. like nuclear fall out. or the terminator...it will not stop until you are dead!
it's 2:30 in the morning and i've been up painting for awhile now. it's all crap. every laast bit of it, but i still continue to do it. it's the only thing i really do.
wow, this post went downhill really quick didn't it. huh. i should watch that more closely in the future.
on a more positive note (sort of), i saw my ex on monday, and all i have to say is...wow. if i ever need to feel better about myself and my life that should do it. he happened to be at a lecture/ gallery reception that the photography chair that i work with was giving over at another local college and had invited me to. poor guy, i almost feel badly for him, but then i just chalk it up to karma because it was bound to happen sooner or later. someone asked me the other day if i hate him. you would think i would. i have every single right to hate him for the things he did to me, the things he put me through, and the way he treated me. however, i could never hate him. he is one screwed up individual, that's for damn sure, but i spent two years with him, and i would like to think, at least, that i stayed because there was something good there. and there are times that i can remember being very happy that i was sharing my life with him. unfortunately, those times are extremely fogged over by the rest of the times that were not so grand, and that's why i have no regrets for no longer being with him. i have moved on and found an amazing guy that cares deeply about me and treats me with so much respect and love that i thank him every day for being a part of my life. i was really lucky to find such an awesome person after finding so many that weren't, and i in no way take that for granted.
okie doke. soap box is put away now. i should probably think about heading to bed. i need to get up and call the dentist early tomorrow and maybe think about packing up some stuff. we move next week! yay!
alrighty. nite!

=e